MemeMonkey.com

Uh Oh! Mav’s goose looks like it got cooked before he even had a chance to stuff it.

Far be it from us insensitive louts to speak ill of the dead, but what the hell, here goes. Tim Russert, long time host of NBC’s Meet the Press and unofficial mouthpiece for the Cheney Bush Whitehouse has dropped dead apparently of a massive myocardial infarction, although we wouldn’t rule out that he choked on one of the many whoppers Dick fed him. While for all appearances Russert was an amiable guy, hard worker and devoted family man, as a journalist he sucked hard and was emblematic of the banality of main stream media and their complicity in the dumbing down of the body politic.

His patented “gotcha” technique of confronting guests with archival footage that contradicted their current position, was a tired saw that he predictably trotted out in each interview with little follow up or impact as the ever more facile politicians quickly sidestepped his lame inquests. During the run up to the Iraq war, he was Cheney’s goto interviewer for all matters propaganda, and could be counted on to facilitate the lies. Nice guy sure, but sweet Jesus, Cheney had his hand so far up his ass, no wonder his heart gave out.

Theres only one way to finish this thing. Please lets get it done.

As the righteous squeals of Senatorial indignation and calls for Alberto’s sacrifice for the US attorney firing scandal mount, it is perhaps time to pause and reflect for a moment on why, given the enormity of his culpability in scandals past, his imminent demise will likely be for a perfidy as minor as perjury. From our vantage point, lying in all its forms is de rigueur for functionaries and principals alike in this administration.

Misleading Congress and political firings strikes us here at the MemeMonkey, as the lowest of hanging fruit. Surely, given his yeoman’s service as designated chief legal enabler for the Neocon-cum-fascist juggernaut of the Cheney/ Bush Whitehouse, Congress could have found an issue a bit more constitutionally compelling.
Not that the overt politicization and coopting of the Justice Department is not bad Rovian Juju, it is. Alas, I suspect the faux outrage of the Senate is more a function of turf infringment, as the patronage of US Attorney’s is traditionally a Senatorial perogative.

Since it appears Alberto’s time is short, let’s not belabor his dedicated assault on our constitution, his legal justifications institutionalizing torture, rendition, and illegal detention. Let us not embolden the terrorists with such small-minded musings. We will leave that analysis to the historians and to the lawyers in the Hague.

But before all of the trial balloons for his resignation are popped, before the last leg of the Hillary 08 Isosceles machine is triangulated to pre-position her to claim credit for the kill, let us step back from the hysteria and reflect on Alberto, the man. As he himself pointed out in talking point fourteen on his recent Mea Culpa , Mi Amigo Media Tour, “I have overcome lots of obstacles to get to where I am now.”

Apparently we are to be reminded that as a Mexican American, he has struggled, and persevered, despite his ethnic shortcomings. He, a poor itinerate real estate attorney from Texas suffered the hardships and pain (up to, but not including organ failure) in his torturous rise to the top of the legal dog pile.

True enough, it can’t be easy to disregard one’s own ethnicity, self-respect, morality and ultimately one’s own humanity to toady up the ladder of power and privilege that Junior and handlers offered. I mean seriously, where were the perks in that?

We at MemeMonkey.com agree, and were we not impaired by our inability to empathize with evil fuckers, who get caught, even the banal evil of hapless cronies and hacks like Brownie, Alberto, Meiers, et al. We would undoubtedly feel a twinge of guilt, shed el Crockodillo tear, or otherwise respond according to script. Sadly Alberto, you must also add us to the stadium chorus and let the record show us here at MemeMonkey HQ as holding our thumbs down for the boy emperor and counsel as they weigh your political fate.

If you listen closely one can hear wheels of the administration’s cleanup bus coming steadily closer. Perhaps you will be able to cut a deal at your war crimes trial. Until then, hasta la vista, Alberto Horatio Gonzales, we hardly knew ye.

In a surpise move, former Speaker of the House and Turkish Bagman Dennis (Denny) Hastert (R) Illinois has been tapped (repeatedly) by Republican House Minority leader Boner to coach the Congressional junior page wrestling team.  Hastert is reportedly excited by this new leadership position and anxious to start drilling the young wrestlers.  

Though Congressional critics dismiss this largely as a PR move to offset negative press from last falls man-on-boy Foley page scandal, Republican leaders insist this is part of meaningful reform for the page program.  To show  broader political support for the move in both evangelical and RNC circles, a couple of veteran grapplers, the formerly reverend Ted Haggard and former RNC chair Ken Mehlman dropped by Hastert’s first coaching session to show off some of their moves.  

Reached at his DC condo that he shares exclusively with long time companion and Chief of Staff, Scott Palmer,  Hastert was reported to have said “I actually found my orignial wrestling tights from my high school coaching days. I thought they were long gone, but it turns out they were in the closet the whole time!”